Jacinda Ardern's Brave Move Benefits Us All

New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern arrives to announce her resignation at the War Memorial Centre on January 19, 2023 in Napier, New Zealand. (Photo by Kerry Marshall/via Getty Images)

I have something extremely embarrassing to admit: I am really tired. I actually feel like I am doing a disservice to the word “tired” by even using it here, because what I feel on a daily basis is so beyond fatigue, beyond weary, that I need a new word to explain it. I feel like I am living in the body of a much older woman, even though my mind and face don’t seem to show those years, and what’s worse is that I don’t think I am the only one.

Jacinda Arden, New Zealand’s brilliant powerhouse of a Prime Minister has announced today that she will be resigning her post. This was a bit shocking and disappointing for me, as I have greatly admired her political career since she took center stage in her brave leadership role during the early days of the Coronavirus pandemic, by closing down her country’s borders to protect the health of her people. I admire her confidence, her knowledge and her fearless ability to do what is right in a seriously clutch moment in history.

Arden met with her party at the first caucus meeting of the year on Thursday, and sadly told her friends and colleagues that she “no longer had enough in the tank” to do the job. She explained, “It’s time…I’m leaving, because with such a privileged role comes responsibility – the responsibility to know when you are the right person to lead and also when you are not.” Let’s all just pause for a moment to imagine a man ever having the courage and honesty to make this kind of statement.

“I know what this job takes — and I know that I no longer have enough in the tank to do it justice,” said the Prime Minister, “It’s that simple.” That last statement resonated with me. Is it really that simple, or is she meaning to say that it should be that simple. Great leaders — who have their citizens’ best interests at the constant forefront of all of their actions and decisions — should understand this premise best of all. We all learned it from the airplane tutorials: you have to help yourself before you can effectively help anyone else.

This is just not a sentiment that we see in modern politics or in positions where power has been attained. I keep harkening back to George Washington leaving the White House to ensure that the newly created presidency was maintained as an ever revolving opportunity for growth through new leadership — but in truth, I am pretty sure George was simply exhausted.

There was the Revolutionary War, writing some of the greatest political doctrine to ever exist, leading a newborn nation into ongoing greatness, and on and on. I reverently visited Mount Vernon for the first time a few years ago and I was struck at how perfectly positioned and charming it was (for the white people) and it all made sense: George Washington was wrecked. He wanted to preserve what he had helped to create, but ultimately, he was tired. He was so tired he had Madison write his farewell address. He was so tired he needed another word for it.

This ability to assess our real aptitudes and move forward with honesty in what we have to offer is something that we are never allowed to do. Since my first day of law school, I hit the ground running, inherently understanding the ever-implied caveat that accompanied my training: never look, behave, or appear weak. This is an important skill for a good lawyer, but even more important is the ability to be a good actor, because the truth is, at times, we are all so fatigued and weakened that we could topple with the slightest ding, or the littlest pin-prick.

Distorted portrait of woman. (Photo by Johnathan Knowles, via Getty Images)

While men in my field appear to sacrifice any last ounce of softness they may have had to appear like a super-hero, this is nothing compared to what women have to do. We have to play all sides, all roles, all characters, and each has to be custom tailored for every circumstance we are attempting to maneuver. I also have no doubt that my experiences are universal for everyone, men and women, in every area of work and life.

I ran myself into the ground trying to prove I was worthy to be a lawyer, and it destroyed me physically. I worked too hard, never ate enough, drank too much, and slept too little, all while putting out an appearance that I was indestructible. If I ever saw doctors it was to make me stronger and faster, never to actually care for my body or mind. Sadly, this was and remains easy to do in the culture in which we live. We are so afraid that any form of greatness is immediately erased by showing the effects of suffering from the human condition.

I am someone who has been forced to spend time contemplating the true cost of living that way. When your body breaks down and forces you to stop, you are done, and after you brush off the self loathing and disappointment in yourself, you see the logical truth. Humans are not made to live well in an environment that drains every last physical resource without ever replenishing basic, everyday needs. We are not machines, and I hated myself for that when I finally realized it.

A young woman working with a laptop at night. (Photo by Patcharanaran Worrapatchareeroj, via Getty Images)

Cut to several years down the road. I have figured out some things, or so I think. I have taken a giant step to resurrect myself in a way that will really be fulfilling and constructive, and in a way that will actually feed my soul. I was alive again and I remembered who I wanted to be all along. The person I was came back and I could laugh and cry again. Better than that, I could write about all of it. Then I got sick with Covid.

I don’t know if I have long-Covid. I can make an educated guess that in the more than four or five times I have gotten this virus and its various different mutations, I have never fully recovered before trying to push myself to be “normal” again. Push, push, push. Did I really learn anything before, or is it that my overwhelming drive didn’t see that this pandemic was the same pitfall that would result in the same way?

I feel like I am being held hostage by my own body. One day last week, I had endless energy and I felt fantastic. I had been eating well and it seemed like all of the supplements and treatments I had been trying were finally taking effect and working in concert with my will. I ran some ordinary errands, but I was so chatty and friendly that it felt like an extraordinary experience. I really enjoyed talking to people, and I walked like I used to, with confidence and a slight swing — it was the best day.

(Photo via Getty Images)

I want to do great things. I want to start working on a book of essays. I want to have a podcast or some venue where I interview people, because I think if talented people who knew how to produce it could help me, we could make something amazing. I want to write speeches for the greatest United States President we have ever seen. I want to play a set of tennis, fall in love again and have a Friday night dinner. I want to do so much but I can’t seem to even keep my house clean.

Jacinda Arden was brave in ways we cannot fathom at this point. The OpEd published by the New York Times, and written by a man, ultimately got it right by attributing her resignation to Covid, but got it so wrong by opening with this:

“Jacinda Ardern explained her decision to step down as New Zealand’s prime minister on Thursday with a plea for understanding and rare political directness — the same attributes that helped make her a global emblem of anti-Trump liberalism, then a target of the toxic divisions amplified by the coronavirus pandemic.

Ms. Ardern, 42, fought back tears as she announced at a news conference that she would resign in early February ahead of New Zealand’s election in October.”

The woman “explained herself” and “stepped down.” This language is as passive and subservient as you can get. Calling her a “global emblem of anti-Trump liberalism” only fuels more nonsense and blame. Lastly, we put the nail in her lady coffin by talking, right up front, about how “she fought back tears.” Nothing was said about courage, passion, emotion and dedication — all of those things were erased by the most popular newspaper in the world.

Jacinda Arden is a great leader in this moment. Not because she is leading me now to tell the truth and to admit what obstacles I am really facing. She has helped me today more than she will ever know, and as a pragmatist, I will make another plan to conquer more obstacles. A list, a goal, something that gives me hope, because I get better every day. To say I am tired is to miss the point of this never-ending lesson. We need another word for it.

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Amee Vanderpool writes the SHERO Newsletter, is an attorney, published author, contributor to newspapers and magazines, and an analyst for BBC radio. She can be reached at avanderpool@gmail.com or follow her on Twitter @girlsreallyrule.

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