Tucker Carlson Wants Me
Good morning! Rise and shine everyone, what are you waiting for! Hop out of bed-it’s impeachment day! Sorry for all of the Pollyanna exclamation marks so early in the day — but I love the smell of impeachment in the morning. It seems the fragile men of the world with inexplicable platforms are understandably cranky as well. The president sent out an unhinged letter yesterday to Speaker Pelosi, with the singular goal of putting himself even farther up the entrails of history fails.
Also, while I was attempting to sleep off a minor cold in preparation for live-tweeting today’s extra-awesome events, Tucker Carlson decided to send me a special love letter. He thinks he’s portraying these new feels he has as anger and outrage, but I know better-I’ve been around a few school yards and third grade boys with crushes. He loves me, I have him right where I want him. (see video below)
Aside from Carlson’s team altering my tweet to reflect a blue check mark that I don’t have, thus destroying the entire premise of his “blue check mark Twitter sounds off” segment, this was a real treat. I’m even willing to forgive the intentional mis-representation of my account because 1.) I SHOULD HAVE A BLUE CHECK and 2. it was a well-worded statement that he disseminated to millions of people who wouldn’t have otherwise seen it. So the ladies continue to rack up giant wins and the sad, privileged men of the world continue to stomp and sulk. One might surmise that it’s just business as usual, except today is like no other. Today we impeach Donald J. Trump for abuse of power and obstruction and we should just consider the fallout tantrums from Fox News and pundits to be extra frosting on the gingerbread house. Mwah-ha-haaa and fa-la-la-la la. It looks like Christmas came early for us all.
The bottom line here in all seriousness is if Tucker Carlson was willing to edit my tweet to super-impose a blue verification check mark on it, then what else is he willing to alter. Carlson calls himself a newsman, but the information he’s disseminating is fake and altered to fit a gimmick at the top of his segment that he thinks best mocks “liberals.” The news should contain facts, not create facts to fit the demographic.
Update: After this incident broke on Twitter, Newsweek contacted me and wrote a piece about how Tucker Carlson modified my tweet to fit his segment. You can read it here.
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Amee Vanderpool writes the “Shero” Newsletter and is an attorney, contributor to Playboy Magazine and analyst for BBC radio. She can be reached at email@example.com or follow her on Twitter @girlsreallyrule.